Unanswered Prayers

Sometimes life starts to get hard and I forget the reasons why I'm happy the way things have turned out. It's been that way for me lately, mainly because of this particular time of the year. However, a song has been at the back of my head for the past few days and it holds a special place in my heart. On one of the most painful and destroying days of my life, this song came on the radio as my parents were driving me home. It was as if this song was actually the answer to my prayer . . . which is ironic. Just the other night a hometown football game My wife and I ran into my old high school flame And as I introduced them the past came back to me And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be She was the one that I'd wanted for all times And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then I'd never ask for anything again Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams And I could tell that time had changed me In her eyes too it seemed We tried to talk about the old days There wasn't much we could recall I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all And as she walked away and I looked at my wife And then and there I thanked the good Lord For the gifts in my life Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered... Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers Basically, the moral of the story is that sometimes I feel like every single prayer I send up is unanswered. And then I look back and realized that Heavenly Father had my back the whole time. Maybe my life still is difficult and frustrating and confusing, but I know that when everything is said and done, He will have given me an even better Happily Ever After.

So No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way...

Apart from work, I have no life. Thus, I started watching seasons 3 and 4 of Friends, (which I just barely bought at my new favorite store: Hastings) to fill the void in my life.

I love Friends.

Okay, that was the understatement of the year. I mean, I could probably beat everyone at any Friends trivia game. Seriously though.

As a child, it probably was not the most appropriate thing I could have been watching, but I was innocent, and the innuendos and other such behavior went right over my head. Anyway. I love watching Friends because, seriously, no matter what mood I am in at the time, Friends will always make me laugh. How can you not laugh at the fact that Ross's teeth glow in the dark, or that his leather pants shrink, or Phoebe's best song is about a cat that smells, or that Joey and Chandler get a chick and a duck? I could go on, but I won't.

My favorite season of Friends would probably have to be season 2 for the obvious reason that Ross and Rachel get together, (I'm a big RandR lover) but it is also stinking hilarious. I finished up season 3 today and just started 4 and I was bumming out hard core. Why? Ross and Rachel broke up. Seriously, that depressed me. I know, I'm pathetic, but hey, I live vicariously through them, so what are you gonna do?

Anyway, I was just sitting there, watching their awesome relationship falling apart and thinking back on all of the scumbags I've had to deal with in my dating lifetime and I just thought, man, I really, really, really want a Ross. He just loves Rachel soooo much and he's good, and kind, and sort of nerdy, but still really smooth, and he adores Rachel. I want a Ross.

So, if any of you out there know of a man that fits this description (and is single. And LDS. And age appropriate) send him my way, or point me in his direction. Until then, I will continue my Friends marathon. At this rate, I should be done by next week. :)

Things That Make Me Go :D

Life is hard. And sometimes it can be really crappy. Like, curl up in a ball under your covers, and never want to come out of your bed ever again crappy. But, thankfully there are some things in life that, no matter how hard or sucky life can be, they will always make it better.

1. Watching Friends episodes. Seriously, never fails to get a giggle out of me.
2. Dr. Pepper. Can cure anything from a headache to a broken heart.
3. Listening to If I Were the King of the Forest on the Wizard of Oz soundtrack. Honestly, if you don't know what I'm talking about, stop what you're doing and look it up.
4. Getting hugs and kisses from my nieces and nephews. The love I feel from them is always a booster.
5. Ice Cream. You can't buy happiness, but you can buy Ice Cream. And that's kind of the same thing.
6. Chocolate. Is an explanation necessary?
7. Good, long chats with amazing friends. Seriously, you guys are awesome.
8. Swimming. I've always been a bit of a fish.
9. Reading the scriptures. Need to do this one a lot more :/
10. Going to the temple. How can that NOT make you happy?
11. Watching a chick flick. The best ones will include Hugh Grant and/or Sandra Bullock
12. Dancing. This will always put a smile on my face.
13. Thunder storms. I don't know what it is, but it is so theraputic!
14. Getting my hair did. This, also, is theraputic.
15. Hanging out with my mom. We're soul mates. As far as mother and daughters go.
16. Roller coasters. I'm kind of an adrenaline junkie.
17. Reading. It's an adventure right in your home.
18. Star gazing. I hate living in the city for this reason.
19. Being crafty. Who doesn't love to make stuff?
20. Painting my nails. It's like I'm a new woman!

If you can't tell, my hair is now BLACK!

Random Adventures

I think I'm turning into an insomniac.

So, the other day, I randomly remember the "Snow White" house located in Midway that we used to drive past on our way to the grandparents houses. It's this little, tiny cottage-like house that looks like it could actually be a home to 7 short men and one stow-away princess. Realizing that I haven't seen this house in years, I suddenly developed an urge to go visit it again. I told Cassie, (my roommate) about it, and since she's just about as Disney/princess obsessed as I am, she jumped on board with me and we took off Monday night after FHE.

In retrospect, perhaps we should have waited when we had a bit more daylight, but oh well.

Going off of obscure directions that my brother provided from his memory, of course we get lost. Add that to the fact that it was dark and you get one interesting adventure. We drove around for a bit, and nearly gave up, and somehow decided that it would be cool to drive up memorial hill, and took some pictures, and had some good chats, then decided to look again.

We THINK we found it . . . but then again, it's really hard to tell when the only view of the house that you get is from your cell phone light and you're trying to be quick/discreet so that people won't call the cops on you. Either way it was a fun night. It was good to get out of Provo, Cassie and I had some really awesome chats, and we made some good memories.

Just chillin on a rock.

My beautiful roommate!

On Memorial Hill

Beautifuly Ridiculous Moments

Last week I got a few days off of work and since I hadn't seen Kelsie in AGES and since she was FINALLY done with her externship hours, we decided to spend some quality time with Bear Lake. It couldn't have come at a better time since life has seemed a little overwhelming as of late and even though some parts of the trip were less than desirable and hilariously ridiculous, it all added up to a lot of beautiful moments:

1. Leaving a hard/stressful/busy day at work as Footloose came on
2. Letting my navigation on my phone get me lost (against my better judgement) and ending up at the new Brigham City temple
3. Random truck driver in the canyon flashing his lights and saving my lead foot from getting a ticket from the hidden cop
4. Having my favorite radio song come on the radio (I Love You Always Forever by Donna Lewis, reminds me of my childhood)
5. Talking until 4 AM with Kelsie where we cried until we laughed and laughing so hard, we cried
6. Getting hilariously stalked by evil seagulls
7. Bear Lake Raspberry Shakes. Nuff said!
8. Finally losing it from lack of sleep and laughing so hard I nearly peed my pants over something kind of funny
9. Getting 2 more Friends seasons (only 5 more!!)
10. Brandt making us breakfast at noon because we were so tired and sunburned, we could hardly move

Most of the time it is hard for me to see the beauty and humor in the ridiculous little moments I have each day. I'm actually really quick to get frustrated, embarrassed, or just down right mad. For some reason, thanks to the Lord's help, this trip I was able to enjoy those moments and laugh (a lot) at things and myself. The ridiculous moments made my life beautiful for a moment and I hope that I can have more of those days in the future.

Life Soundtrack

All of these dreams in my head keep spinning round I'm grabbing my paper and pencil to pin 'em down I'll sketch my world as a prettier place draw myself with a smiley face And make this picture perfect But all of these lines on my page won't mean anything Until I learn to erase the ones that I don't need I'm covering up the stupid mistakes and starting over and over again To make this picture perfect (yeah, yeah) I'll start with where I'm standing now And begin shaping where I wanna be No one can tear my picture down Because it's me and as long as I'm still proud of this self portrait I'm creating I'm doing fine Yeah, I'm doing fine, yeah Every now and again someone comes along They try to box me into a corner I've drawn Pushing the walls down, I'm struggling free Makes me strong so I can keep making this picture perfect (yeah, yeah) I'll start with where I'm standing now And begin shaping where I wanna be No one can tear my picture down Because it's me and as long as I'm still proud of this self portrait I'm creating I'm doing fine Yeah, I'm doing fine, yeah What I'm sketching doesn't have to be anything fancy, no I'm just shaping stronger sides of me, of me, of me, yeah yeah yeah I'll start with where I'm standing now and begin shaping where I wanna be No one can tear my picture down because it's me and as long as I'm still proud of this self portrait I'm creating I'm doing fine yeah, I'm doing fine, yeah I'm doing fine, yeah I am doing fine I'm doing fine Stephanie Smith- Self Portrait

Something About Nothing

Mom made the comment the other day that I hadn't been keeping up my blog. I guess that's because once you graduate, life becomes pretty boring. Seriously. My phone conversations with my mother are significantly shorter and more ridiculous than before because I simply have nothing to tell her. So what am I supposed to write about? However, since I should be cleaning my apartment and/or doing other unpleasant things such as arrange an appointment with mediation for my ridiculous old landlord, I thought I'd write a few something somethings. In this past year, I have learned a lot about myself and a lot about life. For example, I found out that I absolutely hate conflict. Like, I will do anything and everything I possibly can do avoid it. I've also learned that Heavenly Father has a big sense of humor. If life is going fairly well and normally, he's going to throw a curve ball in there to shake things up a bit. When I started my scholastic journey, I did not expect this is where I would end up. In major, relationship, job, and overall life. I had a plan. And goshdarnit, I was going to stick to that plan. Buuuut, as I started going with this plan, Heavenly Father said, "Well, I'm not sure about this. Maybe you should change this part of your plan." So, I said ok! That'll put me a little behind, but I'll do it if I'm supposed to do it. So, I corrected my course a little bit and changed my major, but for the most part, I kept my plan in tact. As I continued going, Heavenly Father said, "Wait, wait wait. Something is terribly wrong here. This cannot happen. You were not meant for this plan. You need to let it go. I have something better in mind, but you will have to be patient." When I wasn't as willing to let this part of the plan go, Heavenly Father gave a gentle shove back onto the path that he had planned for me. It has been an extremely rough journey. I am grateful that I have a Heavenly Father who watches out for me and attempts to guide me in the best direction. He has to be a little bit more persistent with me because I tend to be really stubborn. I'm still in the middle of being patient. I have no idea where to live or what job to get, if I should go on a mission, or if I should maybe go to a trade tech. I'm a little bit frightened for what this next chapter will bring, but I do know that my Heavenly Father has my back and where He's guiding me will lead me to the greatest happiness I will ever know, as long as I am faithful and trusting. "The past should be left in the past, otherwise it can destroy your future. Live life for what tomorrow has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away."