Swiper, No Swiping!

I am so far from perfect, it's not even funny. In D&C we've been learning about the Laws of Retaliation and Forgiveness. What a coincidence that we're learning that right when my stuff gets stolen . . . again. Okay, so I've gotten over the last time my stuff got stolen. I mean, I'm a little sad still, since there was a lot of sentimental value to those items, but I don't want to beat the people anymore. However, now that I'm struggling financially and in many other ways, and the person who most likely stole my money knows that, I have a hard time forgiving and not retaliating. I can't even imagine how hard it must have been for the early saints to forgive their persecutors.
What do you do? How would you handle the situation? It's not like I can accuse this person of doing it because I'm not 100% sure and that's an awful thing to accuse someone of. But, if I can't confront this person about it, how do I know I can trust them and trust that my stuff is safe ever again? It's not exactly hard to break into my room after all. What do I do? What should I say?
Help!

Corney Boys are Cute

I heard this song a few months ago and absolutely fell in love with it. I wish all guys had the same thoughts about their girl. Guys, if you want to get a girl, sing her this song and she's yours!

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they’re not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She’s so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don’t see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say
courtesy OriginaLyric.Info
When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she’d let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She’s so beautiful

And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you’re searching for
Then just stay the same

So don’t even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

Boo . . . Continued

I had an absolute blast last night. At least 4 cars worth of people went to Salt Lake to go through the Nightmare on 13th house. Hilary's brother put it all together and she was adamant that I had to go. No questions about it. Of course, she knew I was a freak out and tended to overreact to scary things like this. So, she made me invite a boy to be my 'protector' for the night. I asked one of my FHE brothers to come and he agreed, but I think only reluctantly. All throughout the house I had a death grip on his hand and I don't think he was down for that, being a somewhat, recent RM. Oh well. I warned him.
The haunted house was extremely long and smelled really rank. I guess that was on purpose? The only things that really freaked me out were the pitch-black sections, the claustrophobic places, and the creeps that lunged out from the dark abyss. A lady told my FHE brother that if you were smart, it would take you about an hour to get through the house and I think we hit that quota. We were fast and smart, (only ran into a few walls and mirrors) but it was a long haunted house.
No matter how scary or awful the house could have been, it all would have been worth it to see Hilary come walking out with her hair sticking in every direction, pasty white skin, and a look in her eyes that said she had seen things that would haunt her for the rest of her life!

Boo . . .

I love Halloween, but I hate scary things. I CANNOT sit through a scary movie without the blanket over my head and I most definitely CANNOT deal with haunted houses. They make me want to cry. Yes, I agree with you that it's all fake and what is there to really by afraid of, quit being such a baby! But, you know what? There's that little thing inside my brain that turns off all rational thought when I get scared. I don't care if it's not real. It's still freaking scary!
With that big rape story that happened over the Summer, I can't tell you how many times people have warned me to be careful. Especially since I live South of campus. They've practically beat it into me. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I now have mace on my keychain and I'm rearing to use it, but I have been so on edge lately. I can remember at least 2 distinct times when I've jumped 5 feet in the air and started to run in a serpentine pattern just because a runner came up in my peripheral vision.
Have I made myself found pathetic yet?

Things I DON'T want to write about:

My audition in a week.
How far away February is.
The fact that my apartment is FREEZING.
I'm craving hot apple cider and caramel apples.
My work gives me crappy shifts: a.k.a. Halloween.
The hole on my heel.
We have too many cookies in the apartment.
I have to go to ballroom on Tuesday.
What to get people for Christmas.
I've lost my All-sports pass.
I need to start my Art History paper
Thanksgiving is so far away.
I won't be a teenager anymore.
It's almost Monday.

Shaleseology

***********FOODOLOGY***************

What is your salad dressing of choice?
Thousand Island

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
APPLEBEES!!!

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Brownies...

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Cheese and olives

What do you like to put on your toast?
Sugar and cinnamon baby

Favorite drink?
Dr. Pepper

*TECHNOLOGY***************

How many televisions are in your house?
3. One is my parents. then dad goes on the one downstairs and mom and i are upstairs.

What color cell phone do you have?
Black

Do you own a digital camera?
Yup. kinda wish i had a new one...but it works

***************BIOLOGY******************

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
lefty baby!!!

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
uh... do staples count?

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
hmmmm...my back pack. seriously.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
I might have....but I don't remember for sure. so probably.

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
I'm not going to die. I'm going to live forever

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
princess consuela bananahamock :D

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
dunno. prob not because I'm a baby.

************DUMBOLOGY******************

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
not enough. I love them.

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
ummm . . . last April, I believe.

Last person you talked to?
my madre and padre

Last person you hugged?
Jeff

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

Season?
spring. if Utah actually had one

Holiday?
my birthday ;D

Day of the week?
Friday. time to party.

Month?
November/May

Activity?
dancing and sleeping

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

Missing someone?
sadly yes... I'm sure everyone knows who...

Mood?
tired. I've been walking all day.

What are you listening to?
the construction workers outside my apartment.

Watching?
the computer screen

praying for?
someone to be safe out there and me being able to get through the last bit of school :/

What kind of car do you drive?
Toyota Corolla

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

First place you went this morning?
bathroom. . . . just kidding! Stats class

What's the last movie you saw?
Couples Retreat . . . I really shouldn't have.

Do you smile often?
you betcha

Sleeping Alone Tonight?
always do

***************OTHER-OLOGY*****************

Do you always answer your phone?
most of the time yeah.

Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
it used to be that UVU guy . . . but he thinks he's too good for me now.

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
bright green. although I love my eyes.

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
vanilla to my Dr. Pepper baby

Have you ever had a pet fish?
yup. crappy little buggers

Favorite Christmas song(s)
have yourself a merry little christmas, oh holy night, I cried the day that I take the tree down, rockin around the christmas tree...and the list goes on and on

What's on your wish list for your birthday?
a big fat letter, and some good home cookin

Can you do push ups?
uhhhh I have no upper body strength

Can you do a chin up?
not likely

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
excited baby!

Do you have any saved texts?
I used to have ones from Elder Dearden on my old phone :D

Ever been in a car wreck?
kinda I guess

Do you have an accent?
not that I know of

What is the last song to make you cry?
I always cried during concrete angel. but I haven't heard that in a while

Plans tonight?
sleep

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
um yeah...

Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
food.

Have you ever been given roses?
yeah. not for any romantic reasons though...sadly

Current worry?
too many to count

Current hate right now?
work

Met someone who changed your life?
you betcha

How did you bring in the New Year?
listening to Jamie talk to Spencer

What song represents you?
uhhhhh not sure. lots I guess.

Name three people who might complete this?
no idea

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
no thank you. i hated middle school and i'm getting sick of high school. nope i'm ready for the future thank you. i don't dwell in the past

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
yup.

Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
ears. one pair. my body is a temple thank you

Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
does a missionary count?

Does anyone love you?
um YEAH

Ever had someone sing to you?
hahaha ya.

When did you last cry?
uh...during conference I teared up a little bit


Do you like to cuddle?
can't sleep without it

Have you held hands with anyone today?
:( no.....

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
i can't remember that far back. prob FM 100

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
new. I'm at BYU. it's the ultimate scene for social networking.

Do you like pulpy orange juice?
mmm it's the only way to drink it

What is something your friends make fun of you for?
the fact that i'm a dancer and i can't walk across a flat surface...

Timeout

I really am not in the mood to write anything today. I keep racking my brain, but I've got too much on my mind to think about what I should write on my blog. I really have no desire to do anything concerning school, and yet, school doesn't care. In fact, just because I just said that, school is going to slam me down with another giant obstacle to overcome. I'm tired. I've been trying to make things work for so long. It feels like my body can't go on any longer. When will life give me a hiatus? Thanksgiving is too far away and Christmas is years away. Why doesn't BYU believe in giving breaks. We're not machines. I'm just so tired.

Even More Discoveries

Why can't being healthy be easy? I mean, it's hard enough that I can't even afford healthy food right now, let alone food. But, also exercising is sucks and unhealthy food tastes SO GOOD! It was WAY too easy for me to come home from my torturous run and shovel down fries with a cheeseburger and a Dr. Pepper.
And running should be illegal. I absolutely abhor running! It took so much will power for me to get up and run for just 30 minutes. My philosophy: let's don't and say we did! Maybe, if we say we went running a lot, our bodies will eventually believe our minds and start losing fat. Mind over matter right? Maybe I should write a book about that. I could make a lot of money I think.
When I get my body back in the 2nd coming, I hope it's in shape . . .

Love Kills

I hate PDA couples. I really should have factored that in when I decided to go to BYU. Yes, it always seems like everyone is in love, except for me, and everyone had to rub it in my face. (And for all of you smart aleks out there, I was SO not as bad as this when I was in high school). I try to accept the fact that BYU is just full of happily married, or soon-to-be-married couples and I'll get there eventually. I try and overlook the fact that the PDA king and queen always sit in front of me in that one class. I try and be supportive of love and all of the happy feelings that go with it. I try and then something like this happens . . .
I was booking it on my way to my third class. It just happens to be on the opposite side of campus from my second class. I have my little shortcuts and tricks to shave seconds off my time, but I still end up in class just barely in time. Naturally, it was a Monday, so I'm already in a sour mood from having to wake up early and endure a tortuous 12 hour day. I was doing really well at weaving in and out of people and cars, but I've always been good at that. My legs were burning and my heel, I could feel, was bleeding from the massive, gaping hole that I received from my ballroom class. But, the end was near. I had just entered a parking lot right before the building that my class was in. I cut through the numerous mopeds and did my 1st grad teacher proud by looking both ways before I crossed the middle of the lot. I was good. There were cars, but they were stopped in the loading zone to pick up or drop off their loved ones. I looked both ways again before I crossed the last half of the lot and noticed a car slowly making its way towards me. I had time and the car was definitely going slower than I was, so I walked in front of it to get to the door of the building. Stupid idea. I had to practically jump on the sidewalk to avoid that very car who had suddenly sped up to hit me. I looked in the window about to throw the driver an expression that said, "Holy cow dude, you almost killed me!" But the driver didn't see my expression. He was too busy making out with his significant other to notice a pedestrian in front of his car.
Are you kidding me?!?! It's bad enough to cause a traffic jam on campus because you can't separate yourself from your loved one to let people through, but making out and driving at the same time?! If texting while driving is dangerous, what does that make kissing and driving? Dang married people . . .

Costume Ideas?

I have 2 weeks till Halloween and I still have no idea what I should be. I don't even know if I'll have work off . . . My first thought was to be a Native American girl or Esona, since that was our drill team's mascot, but my roommate's really want to all be the same thing. They decided on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Eh. We probably all won't be doing the same thing that day, just like we don't every other day. So, what's the point of being a TMNT when you don't have the other three to back you up? Then, I thought I could just be a ballerina because then I won't have to worry about finding a costume. Eh. I asked mini me Jessie what I should be and she told me to be a really bloody zombie. Hmmm. Maybe. There still isn't an idea that's really jumping out at me. Maybe I'll have an epiphany later this week. Until then, I'm totally up for suggestions!!!

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

1. People playing with my hair
2. People drawing on my back
3. The sound and smell of rain
4. Reading a good book all day long
5. Dancing
6. Singing in my house when no one is there
7. Harmonizing when singing (i love the sound)
8. When it snows--especially on Christmas morning
9. Christmas songs
10. Playing card games with my family
11. Watching musicals
12. Having good, long, meaningful talks
13. Laying over the heater with a blanket on a cold morning (my parents really love that)
14. Decorating my house for Christmas--mostly doing the lights and the tree
15. Crunching the leaves
16. People tickling/massaging my legs. I know...weird, but i actually prefer that over #2. Long story
17. Getting flowers for no reason

Let Me Fall

One of my most favorite things to do during the fall, (or any other time) is to crunch the leaves. It has to do with that weird sound satisfaction thing, like the sound of heels on a cobblestone street. When I see a bunch of dried, multicolored leaves piled up on the grass, screaming JUMP ON ME, I HAVE to run through them and obliterate them beneath my flip flops. This is why I hate the BYU grounds keeping crew . . . well, that and the fact that they put up signs on the grass saying 'I'm trying hard to grow, please don't step on me!' That's just asking for students to walk all over it! But, anyway, the grounds crew cleans up all the stinking leaves, leaving the ground looking like the effects of fall has not yet touched it. They are taking one of the few joys I have during fall season! LET ME WALK ON THE LEAVES DANG IT!

A Few Things I Found Today . . .

1. An actual picture of Orlando Bloom
2. An earring
3. My phone screen protectors
4. All my old year books, elementary included
5. My school dance pictures
6. My 2nd grade yearbook picture on which I had inscribed 'I am special'
7. Derek Siddoway's 3rd grade photo with devil horns and a moustache
8. A thousand pictures of Stephen and I, awkward ones included
9. A purse
10. A pink sparkly key chain with the words HA HA I DON'T GET IT
11. Drill team officer folder
12. A belt
13. A sock
14. Last year's text books

Oh Crap.

Procrastination sucks. Do you want to know why? I found out today that the Dance Education major auditions are 2 1/2 weeks away. YIKES! When I found that out, I about tee-teed in my pants, (as my niece and nephew would say). I'm still flexible . . . well good enough anyway. I mean, it hurts like crud when I stretch out, and it didn't when I was in shape. Anyway, the flexibility is not something I'm worried about. It's the technique. Turns are a bugger when you haven't practiced them. On top of that, BYU is a very competitive place, especially in dance, so I'm scared out of my mind to go up against these amazing dancers who have more training that I ever had, and who have not let their technique go down the toilet.
After I got over the initial shock this morning, I calmed down significantly. I thought back on why I wanted to even audition in the first place. Teaching dance was the only job that I ever loved and it's the only thing I can imagine myself doing in the future, other than being a mommy of course. Auditioning for this major just feels . . . right. It feels like it's the missing puzzle piece to my life. I've been fitting pieces together without looking at the box, and with this piece I will be able to see the big picture. So does that mean that this is where I am supposed to be? Is this what Heavenly Father wants me to do with my time here at BYU?

Cinderelly, Cinderelly

Cleaning checks are like death. They have this reputation among BYU students that they are super strict to the point where hardly anybody passes their checks the first time through. I was petrified last year in the dorms when we were notified of our first checks. I spent hours on my jobs, making sure that the apartment was spotless. My RA came in, looked at the place, called it good, and left. I was slightly disappointed. The same thing happened at my new apartment.
Cinderella and I forged a new connection last night. I was on my hands and knees for hours, scrubbing the grime and mysterious boogers off the baseboards behind the couch. My job was one of the hardest ones, considering the fact that most of our food threw up in the oven and our living room is ginormous. I was up until 1:30 deep cleaning the microwave for crying out loud! And for what? A scary lady who came in, walked around the kitchen and into the bathrooms, but didn't step one foot inside the living room or our bedrooms. Are you kidding me?! Oh, but don't worry. She managed to check the one thing that I accidentally overlooked on my list: the floor underneath the oven. So, I failed, and I have to pay a $5 re-check fee and possibly $30 for a cleaning service to come if I fail again. Lovely. . .

Wouldn't It Be Nice If We Were Younger?

I miss my childhood. It completely sucks growing up! Lately, all my friends and I have been talking about the things we miss about our childhoods and how the tv shows and games kids have now are just pathetic in comparison. . .
1. Boy Meets World. Need I say more?
2. Recess
3. Arthur
4. Puzzle Place
5. Sesame Street (before Bert and Ernie had to move out)
6. Pepper Ann
7. Gargoyles
8. Ghost Writer
9. Scooby Doo
10. Saved By the Bell
11. Hey, Arnold!
12. Even Stephens
And the list goes on and on and on!
I miss those days! I have been craving to watch Boy Meets World for weeks now and I never know when it comes on TV! Blast cable and our old school TVs!

More Self-Discoveries

Last night I was sitting on the couch with a guy I only really know through texting. We were watching the Italian Job with my roommates and Aaron Beenfield. This guy, we'll call him Moe, kept up a habit of poking me and pestering me all night long, and I kicked and smacked and fought back, like I normally do. Finally, about and hour into the movie, I turned to him and demanded to know why he was being such a punk. He replied that he thought it was funny the way I reacted. I have been told this on several different occasions and couldn't figure out why everybody always noticed this. He went on to ask me if I had any older brothers. I told him yes, but that they were a heck of a lot older than I am. He said, "I can tell. Most girls who have brothers who've constantly teased and pestered them have a 'fight back' attitude."
Ohhhhhhh! I finally get it! People, guys in particular, have always commented on the fact that I'm very abusive, (in a very non-threatening way). It was something that I was always self-conscious about and tried to control better. But whenever I had someone pestering me, I would always find myself fighting back and I couldn't figure out why. Now I get it! Thanks brothers for keeping me feisty!

Adventures

I had a nightmare last night. Or early this morning. It was an extremely odd nightmare. Looking back on it, I don't really see why it was so frightening, I only remember the feeling I had during it.
There was a big white castle, the kind that you see on Disney princess movies. It was a pristine white that glittered when the sun hit the towers just right. The castle was nestled into a spring green mountain side, and the light that filtered the air gave the feeling that it was mid-May. I had the feeling that something terrible was looming ahead. The panic in my own heart was mirrored in the nameless character's faces. The only thing I knew was that the people of the castle's village were in terrible danger and we, (meaning myself and just a handful of other nameless characters) needed to get the people to the shelter of the pristine castle.
To top off the feeling of the dream, my subconscious had to add the knowledge that Elder Dearden was serving his mission at that very castle. I knew which tower he was in, and the fact that we were in the same place was killing me. I found myself at the front door of the castle and soon enough, Elder D and his companion came walking out. It was strange because they were no longer dressed in the traditional black and white missionary garb, but rather in jeans and a t-shirt. In fact, the t-shirt he was wearing was one of the many shirts that I spent a long time folding last night at my job. Needless to say, I was speechless at the sight of him. It was against the rules for him to even look at me and I had so much that I wanted to say to him. My mind ruled over my heart, however, and I quickly put as much distance between us as I could. He followed me. He was testing my will-power and it was on it's last, worn thread. I remember I finally asked him a question, and instead of addressing me, he answered my question to the friend standing next to me. I was hurt and felt rejected, even though I knew he couldn't look at me, let alone talk to me. But, we were in danger and we could die! Did that mean nothing to him?!
My dream catapulted forward in time. The people of the castle's village were securely in the confines of the castle and those of us who could fight were braced for an attack. The enemy was slowly advancing. It was an army of X-Men with that guy who could manipulate metal as the leader. He pulled apart the hidden shelter that shielded the people of the village and exposed them. I felt a loss of hope and knew I would never be able to make it out a live. As soon as those thoughts sprinted across my mind, a light bulb turned on. I was an X-Man too and I could fight back!
Are you on the edge of your seat? I was too. Then, as most cheesy stories and dreams end, I woke up to my roommate's alarm clock.

25 Random Facts About Me!

1. I wrote this note already and got to number 21 before my internet did something funky and erased everything i had. which makes me livid because i had some good stuff!

2. I can move one eyeball. I also can move one eyebrow up. On each side.

3. My bestest friend in the whole wide world is Jamie Wayment and she has been since 6th grade all because i found out we had the exact same shedule and i gave her a high five for it and yeah...

4. I want more than anything in the world to fly. I idolize peter pan for that talent...

5. I can quote the entire Pirates of the Caribbean movie. no really.

6. I have almost OCD. I subconciously count how many steps i take when i walk from one class to another. I don't realize i do it until i get to my desitnation and i say a random number like 65. I also have to color coordinate and alphabetize things and when i eat things like M&Ms i have to eat them two at a time. if i don't end up having an even number i have to give the leftover M&M to someone else.

7. I have an obsession for James Marsden. he's so freaking gorgeous!

8. My most favorite thing in the world is rain. the sound/smell/feel of it is amazing!

9. I am in love with my cell phone. is that weird? not because i love to text or talk or anything, but because it's sweet! i love it! it's so cute and perfect and i'm completely satisfied with it -other than the fact that i can't see my screen in the sunlight- but still...i love it!

10. I frequently fall asleep with the light on in my bedroom. it's true. i love to read at night and i always fall asleep with a book in my hand or an assignment or something and i always forget to shut off my light. my parents hate it.

11. 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Tarrell is my jam. seriously. i LOVE that song.

12. I like having my nails done. fake nails do not bother me at all. they don't hinder anything i do and i barely notice that they are there sometimes. but they make me feel pretty and girly and i love to have them on.

13. I have one blonde eyelash. yep. it's the weirdest thing. it's in the corner of my right eye and it grows and grows and grows. it get's sooo long but it falls out a lot. i call it my lucky lash.

14. I have a thing for palm trees.

15. I am an extreme cuddler. I have to fall asleep with something in my arms. it used to be my teddy bear jill but i had to retire her recently because...yeah.

16. I love love love milk duds. they are my absolute favorite candy. (i also have to eat them in twos). if i were to get diagnosed with cancer or something like that, just put me in a room full of milk duds and i will die a very happy death.

17. I hate statistics with a passion.

18. I want to be a writer when i grow up. i'm going to write a best-selling book from the comfort of my own home with my little kids running around and then i will make millions so that i can put my kids throught college and other various things as well as give to charity. including tithing.

20. I love it when people tickle/massage my legs. i like it more than when somone tickles my back. it is the most relaxing thing in the whole world!!!

21. If i could, i would go barefoot everywhere- except public bathrooms because that's just nasty. i love the feeling of being barefoot and i dunno why. so naturally my choice of shoe is a flip flop- it's the closest thing to being barefoot.

22. I hate rice. one summer, i got food poisoning from an enchilada and to this day i cannot eat rice. except for when my mom makes chicken over rice...but that's different.

23. My little blue beast of a car is named Jane- courtesy of Stephen Dearden....my car is a boy not a girl so i think it might be a little gender confused....

24. I love watching Jon and Kate plus 8. it is a very cute show and i just love watching it!!!!

25. I have a bald spot from a scar my sister Haylie gave me. let's just say it involves a wooden swing and staples.

Clock Stoppers

I've been hanging out with his best friend a lot. It's good to have that kind of company again. I don't have to talk about myself or answer any of the interview-type questions that typically are rendered on a first meeting.

Where are you from?

What's your major?

How far are you in school?

Etc, etc, etc.

His best friend knows who I am, therefore, I don't have to explain myself to him. It's a lot more stressful when you have to pretend to be interesting.

Today I spent some time with both of his best friends today. It was like old times, except he wasn't here. He hasn't been for 2 years. I was told the first year goes by slow, but after you get used to them being gone, the next year flies by in a breeze. It is a true statement, however, being around his friends has only made the time slower than cold tar going uphill in the wintertime.

I Put On My Dancin Shoes

Today was another one of those days. I've been having a lot of them recently. I'm just getting over a cold, but, last night I had a major migraine and just had an awful night that included roommates shouting. In my room. With the light blaring through my blanket into my eyes. And when I left the room, they followed me out. So, this morning I DID NOT want to get out of bed. I was trying so hard to think of a good reason, any reason, not to get dressed and make the trek up to campus. I failed.

I went to class and everything was fine. I remembered all of my assignments and it was just a pretty good day. I walked home, however, in the rain, only to discover that I had forgotten to take my keys with me again and my roommates were not home. I was standing in front of my apartment door, soggy and doing the pee dance, waiting for Hilary to get done with her last class.

After I thawed and dried myself out on my couch, (named Cornelius by the way) I realized that I had a dance competition in a few hours. It was just a small one for my ballroom class, but it involved all of the ballroom classes at BYU. I really had no desire to go since my partner, bless his heart, was not a fast learner when it came to dance. But, hey, I'm a dancer and it's in my nature to attend dance competitions whether I want to or not. So I got ready and made my way back up to campus. I was cutting it extremely close, since it started in 10 minutes and my partner was no where to be found. I called. No answer. I called again. No answer. I called about 3 more times and still no answer. The competition was beginning, people had been assigned in heats and were starting their routines. I was supposed to be out on the floor. Needless to say, I was not happy with this guy.

Finally, he calls me back and was confused as to why I was even at the competition. I thought you were sick? I explained to him that I was, indeed, sick the night before, but this competition was required for our class. Oh, well I don't even have my clothes with me. Freak. I hobbled up in my new ballroom shoes to my teacher and explained to him the situation. He then proceeded to cart me around the ballroom, trying to find me a partner. He actually found one that was pretty decent. So we danced and then we went home. I'm trying really hard to be a better person and not be ticked off at this guy, but, I'm a dancer and I am, indeed, ticked.

Grrrr

My dang computer isn't working. Best Buy lost my power cord over the summer when I took my computer to get fixed. They supplied me with a new cord that, guess what? Doesn't work. Well, okay it worked a little if I held it in a certain position and it was a pain in the rear. But now, it won't even connect to my computer and it just overheats. So I have spent the past 3 days without my computer because the battery is dead. I just love technology! To top all that off, I have 4 major tests this week, plus assignments that I have to keep up with. I am currently on my awesome roommate's computer trying to complete as much as I can before she needs it again. Blast dang midterm week!

Self-Discovery

I grew up in an extremely small town. I was involved with a lot of things. I had a lot of leadership responsibilities. I didn't have very many friends. I considered staying at home and watching a movie with my parents acceptable for a Friday night.
I now attend BYU. A small fish in a huge pond. I have a few more friends and I am a completely different person. I'm social . . . ish. I laugh a lot and small-town Shalese is tucked away into a dark, little corner in my mind.
When my two little circles collide, I don't like it much. I'm not fond of my small town life mixing with my college town life. In those two circles, I am two completely different people. It goes along with my OCD tendencies. I like order and when my two different lives mix, it gets confusing and chaos ensues.
It's a hard thing to explain. I just don't like when my past life comes into my present life. I'm dealing with it right now. Of course, I brought it on myself. I encouraged it. I wanted a harmony between the two Shaleses. Now I am thoroughly regretting it. I like how people here don't know everything about me because they grew up with me and therefore, judge me because of my past. I like being able to reinvent myself. I like being able to go home and settle back into my first life. It's like mixing foods on your plate. You don't want your corn to swim in your gravy because it just tastes gross, regardless of the fact that it will all end up in the same place. You don't have taste buds in your stomach anyway.

We Thank Thee, Oh God!

I hate big crowds. Anxiety and claustrophobia start to settle in. I have major personal space issues and I only give a select few people permission to be inside my bubble. But, being in a large gathering of Mormons in an LDS event has a completely different effect on me. I love it. I love the random outbursts of Hymns and the snippets of overheard conversations including Mormon lingo. Most of all, I love the protesters.
Okay, I don't love them. I feel bad for them. Out of all the places to protest, they come to General Conference where devoted, loving Saints have sacrificed a lot to be there. Like these people are going to pay one bit of attention to a man shouting at them that they are all going to the hot place for believing in the Celestial Kingdom. Or even the other guy to had MORMONS ARE NOT CHRISTIANS in big red, ugly letters on his t-shirt. I think I see him every year. There was one guy who dressed up as the devil, reading the Book of Mormon, and thanking everybody for coming out to support him. His was pretty funny. I'll give him props for creativity. He lost a lot in stupidity though . . .
Once we got into the conference center and the doors to the protesters were shut and the sweet silence of the Spirit settled in, I was able to relax. I sat there and pondered on the protesters, trying to figure out what it is exactly that they have against us. Listening to conference, my puzzlement reached new levels of confusion. Everything the speakers had to say was completely positive and uplifting, whether you believed in the Church or not. So why are those people who line the sidewalks shouting that we are all an evil people into megaphones? Have they even tried to listen and learn? Can they not just open their hearts? Maybe that's the problem. They cannot hear.
Are there times when I cannot hear? Or I don't want to listen?

Rnadom Facts

My roommate just told me that the crunchy bits in Figs may or may not be seeds. . .
I have gnats that are multiplying and replenishing my apartment.
A Schmuck is a piece of Anatomy.
I walk up approximately 240 stairs each day.
You CAN actually keep your eyes open while you sneeze.
Brown eyes can take sunlight better than any other color.
Your foot is the same length as your forearm.
Reno has the highest rate of alcoholism while Provo has the lowest. (YEAH! GO COUGS!)
We only use about 10% of our brain. Actually Einstein used 10% . . .
Women have more 'Cones' in their eyes, allowing them to see more color than men.
Some lipsticks use fish scales.
You're not born with knees.
Every baby starts out as female.